


Days before the cold (and one during)

by yoonminoml (fanficloverme96)



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: 6+ 1 fic, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Hoshi Meguri (IDOLiSH7), Christmas fic, Gen, Happy Ending, Light Angst, sort... of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 21:46:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17149658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficloverme96/pseuds/yoonminoml
Summary: The King of Sirena spends the week before Christmas pondering on the missing things in his life, and the person he missed the most.





	Days before the cold (and one during)

**Author's Note:**

> Gifted to hoarhsoyriz on Tumblr! Merry Christmas, everyone ^^

**_(7 days before Christmas)_ **

 

Sardinia’s Monday morning begins with him sitting at the throne room, bored out of his mind as one of his many attendants - a mousy little thing, probably no older than 16 with a head full of fluffy brown hair that reminds Sardinia of a little sheep - briefs him of the upcoming Christmas party to be hosted, yet again, at the Sirena’s royal palace.

 

He glances out of the window, leaning his head against his hand. . 

 

Christmas - or more commonly known as the Winter Festival among the locals - is one of the many festivals celebrated at Sirena, once again providing an excuse to dress up and party. Sirena’s royal family hosts a grand party every year without fail, and now that the throne has been passed down to Sardinia, he ends up as the unlucky winner as the party’s host for the past several years.

 

He sighs. It’s not as if he hates Christmas parties, or any parties at all, really. He inherits Sirena’s genuine joy for festivities, after all, and for the first few times, hosting his own Christmas party had been exciting. He had planned to outdo all the previous celebrations held by his family members out of lighthearted, well-meaning rivalry, and succeeded in just that. Sardinia is also a fan of the food and the clothes and the music that came with the Winter Festival.

 

But these days, his feelings towards it seems to dwindle a little, and Sardinia sighs for the umpteenth time today just thinking about it. 

 

“Your Majesty?” stammers the little attendant - Sardinia faintly recalls her name being something like Lucy -, gripping the clipboard tightly in her hands like her life depends on it. She nervously meets Sardinia’s gaze. “A-are you paying attention?”

 

Sardinia graces her a smile. “Of course. How could I not?”

 

.

,

,

.

.

**_(6 days before Christmas)_ **

 

The King feels a breeze from the window of his study and smiles to himself.

 

“For goodness’ sake, can’t you enter through the door like a normal person?” he scolds with little bite, but the smile of his face remains as he greets the newcomer. The bells on the newcomer’s hat chime as he does a small bow towards Sardinia - out of habit more than respect, because he’s more of a friend than a subject to the King.

 

“Your window was near the tree I was relaxing on. Might as well,” Shinkai says with a shrug, tucking his flute into his belt before taking off his hat. His hair looks wet, most likely from the snow outside. Sardinia raises an eyebrow,

 

“Played in the snow?” he asks.

 

“Some kids threw a snowball at me before I could put my hat on,” Shinkai answers. 

 

The King laughs. “Of course they did.”

 

He is thrilled to be able to see Shinkai again. The latter had been one of his many wanderings again, and it’s the first time Sardinia sees him in months. He pats the chair beside his own, inviting Shinkai to sit down next to him by the fireplace. Shinkai obliges, sinking down onto the chair before crossing his legs.

 

“Where did your adventure take you this time?” Sardinia inquires. “Do you have anything interesting to tell to your King?” 

 

Shinkai shrugs. “I went south. Do you remember the tiny village by the borders? The one just at the edge of the valley with the giant waterfall?”

 

When Sardinia nods an affirmative - he does faintly recall passing such village once upon a time during one of his rare patrols -, Shinkai’s face lights up. “They will be holding their own mini festival in the village instead of going to the capital. The snow’s too thick to travel through this year, so it was an alternative for them to celebrate alongside with the others.” He leans against his seat. “The head village sends his regards to you.”

 

Sardinia hums.

 

“And what else?”

 

Shinkai smiles, and continues to tell his tales. Sardinia enjoys listening to his many stories - of the places he’s been and the people he’s met. He himself doesn’t have many chances of travelling, partly due to the Star’s elusiveness towards outsiders, and his position as the King which doesn’t grant him as much freedom to go wherever he pleases. Hearing about Shinkai’s adventures slightly makes up for this - an alternative he’ll accept, if not the solution to his secret envy.

 

However, he couldn’t help but to be curious.

 

“Shinkai.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Don’t you wish to travel elsewhere aside from Sirena?” asks Sardinia.

 

Shinkai raises his eyebrow in askance.

 

“You have more freedom to travel outside Sirena if you wish; I’ve given you permission to do so. And yet, you choose to spend most of your time here, instead.” Sardinia cocks his head to one side, curious. “You’ve been living here since the day you were born and have been wandering for as long as you can remember. Surely you would like a change of scenery?”

 

Shinkai seems to briefly consider his question.

 

“Sirena is always interesting to look at,” he answers. “This place changes over the years. Perhaps not much, but the change is there.” Shinkai’s lips curve upwards. “When I pay attention to the details and see what’s there and what’s not, it interests me. It’s fun. Don’t you feel the same way, King?”

 

Sardinia blinks, not expecting the question.

 

“And besides,” continues Shinkai before the King could answer, “It’s fun to see people preparing for the Winter Festival at different parts of Sirena. We may be celebrating the same thing, but the way people celebrate can vary. Some have their own customs and traditions separate from others, even.” He glances at Sardinia. “Surely you have your own favorite thing about the Winter Festival, too?”

 

Something blooms in Sardinia’s chest when he hears the question. He places one hand against his chest, feeling the beat of his heart underneath his hand. Shinkai’s gaze follows the King’s movements curiously, before turning to meet Sardinia’s gaze.

 

Sardinia doesn’t look at him. However, the corner of his lips lift into a ghost of a smile.

 

“I don’t remember.” 

 

.

,

,

.

.

 

**(5 days before Christmas)**

 

As the day to the Winter Festival celebration begins to grow near, it is no surprise to find the capital so busy. Sardinia makes sure his hood covers most of his face as he weaves through the crowd of people, taking a rare walk through the town. He shivers slightly, the simple clothes he wore doesn’t warm him up as much as the usual royal garments he dons, but he endures regardless.

 

It has been a while since he got out from the castle, after all. 

 

His attendants are less than pleased; there is still so much for the King to do and yet here he is, insisting on taking a walk now of all times. Despite their scoldings, Sardinia waves them off and exits the castle grounds before they could stop him. Shinkai watches him go from his position underneath the tree, his eyes twinkling in mirth at the sight of his King, dressed simply like a mere servant, sneaking away.

 

Shinkai is right; from where he stands now, Sirena does look different. It’s a much different perspective from observing from the castle windows - observing the people but not really empathizing with them. He knows the joy they feel whenever there is a celebration, but there is a clear difference between knowing and feeling it. 

 

There are already streamers of blue and white decorating the buildings around him, and fluttering in the air as they hang above him, connecting one structure to another, and the twinkling lights scaling the walls and the trees. He hears all sorts of sounds - from the vendors selling their goods, to customers negotiating prices, and the children laughing as they run pass him. Three kids - 2 boys and 1 girl no older than 10 from the looks of it - are passing a ball to each other,  their smiles reaching their ears as they laugh. 

 

Something in Sardinia’s heart aches for a reason he can’t name.

 

He feels a bump against his leg and looks down.

 

A girl with brilliant red hair is on the ground, looking as if she has fallen there after bumping into him. She is already on the verge of tears as she brings up her hands to her eyes, her bottom lip trembling. She doesn’t seem to be injured, but Sardinia guesses that the fall itself must have hurt, regardless. He kneels down and peers at the child.

 

“Are you okay, little one?” he asks gently.

 

The girl looks up at him, and her eyes immediately widen. Her mouth forms into a little ‘o’ and Sardinia could immediately see the recognition forming in her gaze.

 

Before she could say anything, he puts a finger to his lips, and winks. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

 

The girl blinks owlishly and nods, her pain seemingly forgotten. Sardinia helps her to her feet, with the girl still staring at him in wonder all the while. Sardinia smiles and pats her head. “You’re okay, right?” he asks again.

 

“Mmph!” The girl nods. “Thank you, Your-,” She shakes her head. “Mister!” 

 

“Rie!” a childish voice calls out. The girl turns her head towards the voice, and Sardinia assumes that she must be the one the voice is calling out to. He follows her gaze and spots the children he sees earlier. One of the boys is waving at her. “Rie! Come on!”

 

“Coming!” Rie shouts back. She hurriedly bows at Sardinia, offering him a dimpled grin before running off towards her friends.

 

Sardinia watches her leave, the ache in his heart blending into the foreground of his consciousness.

 

(He returns home late, and Lucy scolds him through her stutters while Shinkai watches in the background, smiling from ear to ear.)

.

,

,

.

.

 

**_(4 days before Christmas)_ **

 

Sardinia once again escapes the castle, this time taking Shinkai with him. He leaves the castle grounds under the guise of a patrol, but skips over the capital and its surrounding villages in favor for his favorite spot on the grassy hill overlooking the borders. He rests his chin on his knees as he observes Sirena’s ports - not as busy as most stars, but there are guards patrolling on a daily basis and recently, more ships have been coming, so it definitely isn’t as quiet as it used to be.

 

Shinkai sits next to him, polishing his flute in silence as the King mulls over his thoughts. Sardinia is rarely so deep in thought like this, except when he’s fortune telling or practising his magic, so to see him wordlessly staring out at the view is new. Shinkai is also not the type to ask when there is no need to, so he allows the silence to carry on comfortably.

 

“I had a dream last night,” Sardinia says at last.

 

“Hm? An omen, perhaps?” Shinkai inquires, tucking his flute away.

 

Sardinia shakes his head, smiling softly. “No… it’s an ordinary dream this time.”

 

“You rarely have those.”

 

“Which is why I treasure them more,” Sardinia murmurs. “Surely you’d understand? You see the future more than I do.”

 

“What was your dream about?” Shinkai asks instead, not answering the question.

 

If Sardinia realizes his intention, he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he closes his eyes and breathes out slowly. “Just…. The old days. Of when my Father used to host the Winter Festival party instead of me.” There is a small smile on his face. “When I was younger, I used to hide behind his robes and peek at the guests from there. I was a shy little thing.”

 

Shinkai laughs. “That’s something interesting to imagine.”

 

“Father’s parties were fun. It was grand and extravagant, but I remember the atmosphere being so warm and lively, like the people gathering at the castle were not just nobles hoping to impress my Father, but rather like long-lost relatives coming over to play.” Sardinia’s expression turns wistful. “I miss that.”

 

There is something hanging in the air; something left unsaid. Shinkai can feel it clearly all the way down to his bones. All the way to the beat of his heart.

 

Silence pass by for the next few minutes.

 

“I remember the Winter Festival being more lively,” Sardinia comments lightly a while later, fixing Shinkai a grin as he turns to him. “Not just an event where there is a party I’m obligated to host every year.” 

 

Shinkai stares at him, tilting his head. 

 

“It’s always been lively,” Shinkai corrects, “You just began to feel it less.”

 

(Ever since - )

 

The edges of Sardinia’s smile begins to soften, before the smile slips off his face. He turns to look at the scenery again, his expression deep in thought.

 

“I wonder.” 

 

Sardinia buries his head in his knees and spends the rest of the day ignoring Shinkai. His words sting a bit more than usual today.

  
  


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,

,

.

.

 

**_(3 days before Christmas)_ **

 

This morning, he wakes up with a dull headache and draws a bad card during his daily fortune telling. He smirks inwardly. That usually means one thing.

 

“You’re late,” Orion says through his teeth, expression impatient as he sits on one of the sofas at one of the many meeting rooms in the castle. He’s in his usual black uniform, his sword tucked at his sight. Shinkai is sitting across him, nodding at Sardinia when he enters the room.

 

“I don’t recall setting a time for our meeting,” Sardinia refutes calmly. He gathers his robes and sits next to Shinkai, his posture prim and proper. He crosses his legs and tilts his head. “I merely said come in the morning, and as you can see - ,” He gestures to the grandfather clock pushed at one of the room, both of its hands pointing at the number 11, “It’s not noon yet, hence, it’s still in the morning.”

 

He smiles when Orion looks at him as if he wants to kill him.

 

To his credit, he doesn’t and instead decides to sigh heavily, rubbing his temples. “I have urgent things to attend to after this, so I’ll make this quick.”

 

“King Orion, always so busy,” Sardinia says playfully, “Relax and unburden your shoulders, Your Majesty. The capital is preparing for the Winter Festival; come look around first while you’re here.”

 

“That’s what I’m here for.” Orion reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a card, before handing it to Sardinia. Sardinia regards the object in Orion’s hand for half a second before carefully taking it, feeling the smooth material of the card underneath his hand.

 

Like most things in Lama, the card design is simple and straight to the point. Even without a proper inspection, Sardinia can already see the word Christmas printed in bold fonts on the card. Beside him, Shinkai hums thoughtfully.

 

“Oh?” Sardinia eyes the card curiously. “Is this what I think it is, King Orion?”

 

Orion manages a small smile. “Sirena isn’t the only Star that celebrates Christmas, you know. Or, the Winter Festival, as I’ve heard you call it here.”

 

“We’re also organizing one here,” replies Shinkai, “With His Majesty here as the host.” Shinkai smirks. “Though of course, I’m sure you already know that.”

 

Orion scoffs. “Sirena should be renamed as the Star of Festivals, really.” He turns back to Sardinia. “Anyway, I understand that you may not be able to attend the Christmas party on the day itself, but the Ports will be open all week long for the celebration, so you are free to come anytime then. Lama celebrates Christmas longer than most Stars, after all.”

 

Sardinia traces the card thoughtfully. He doesn’t notice the way Shinkai is glancing at him, his eyes narrowing. 

 

Slowly, the edges of the Kings lip pull up into a smile, though it’s obviously sardonic than polite. His gaze is cold when he looks at Orion.

 

“I’m impressed the Star of Steel celebrates anything, really,” he says smoothly. 

 

There is a beat of silence.

 

Shinkai looks away, his expression unreadable. Orion stares at Sardinia, who stares back impassively. If Orion feels the bite in Sardinia’s words, he doesn’t show it on his face. Instead, his brows furrow, a hint of concern flitting across his face. He frowns slightly, looking more puzzled than angry.

 

Which is new, even to Sardinia. Orion is usually so quick to anger.

 

“You’re nastier than usual,” Orion comments, “Is there something bothering you? If coming to Lama really isn’t too -,”

 

Then, realization hits him. Sardinia’s heart grows cold. 

 

(He knows.)

 

Slowly, Orion’s expression begins to crumble. Sardinia thinks he sees pity in the King’s eyes.

 

“Look, if it’s about the kid -,”

 

“There is no such thing,” Sardinia interrupts, “I have no concerns at all, dear King.” He places the card onto the coffee table in front of them. “I’ll think about this party of yours. Don’t expect too much, of course.”

 

It’s clear that Orion doesn’t believe him. It matters not, because Sardinia has no plans on elaborating his words.

.

,

,

.

.

 

**_(2 days before Christmas)_ **

 

He wakes up to everything around him burning.

 

He realizes immediately that this is nothing more than a dream - he has too much of those to recognize one as soon as it began - but as he takes in the familiar-looking buildings around him and registers the sound of desperate screaming surrounding him, his heart grows cold when recognizes what this dream is.

 

“Brother!”

 

Sardinia turns towards the voice, as if on autopilot.

 

“Eri-,”

 

He sees a flash of red and hears a sudden explosion, before the scene fast-forwards before his eyes. His chest feels heavy and he struggles to breathe. His vision begins to blur, legs losing strength before he collapses to his knees. 

 

He dislikes dreams like these. It takes too much of his energy to remain self-aware.

 

His head stops spinning after a while and he finds it easier to breathe. Slowly, cautiously, he looks up.

 

“Sardinia-nii!”

 

Words catch in his throat.

 

“Erin-,”

 

The Erin in front of him is shorter, smaller, younger. Much younger. Dressed in familiar Sirena’s royal garments, the child Erin continues to scream as a soldier pulls him away. His eyes brim with tears as he stretches his hands out.

 

“I don’t want to go! I don’t want to leave!” child Erin wails miserably. “Brother, don’t let them take me!”

 

Sardinia remembers this time too vividly. He clutches his chest, heart pounding wildly. “Wake up,” he says through gritted teeth. “I don’t want to remember this. Wake up. Wake up!”

 

_ “Sardinia-nii!” _

 

He wakes up with a start, breathing harshly as he buries his face in his hands. His room is silent aside from his own breathing and erratic heartbeat. He looks around wildly - nothing is burning. No one is screaming. Not anymore.

 

In the solitude of his too-large bedchambers, Sardinia cries quietly into his hands.

 

10 years since the war. 

 

10 years of solitude and forcing himself to forget.

 

_ “Erin.” _

 

_ “Oh, it’s His Majesty Sardinia.” A bow, though it felt as if he’s mocking him instead. “What can this lowly, humble attendant of Lama do for you?” _

 

_ “Erin… whatever you heard about me, just know that -,,” _

 

_ A cold expression. A smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “It matters not, Sardinia-nii. You didn’t come for me no matter how long I waited. You didn’t even try.” _

 

_ “No, that’s not --!” _

 

Sardinia lets out a shaky sob.

 

“Erin,” he whispers brokenly.

 

.

,

,

.

.

 

**(interlude, in between the passing of days)**

 

Orion nurses his drink, his expression solemn. Shinkai polishes his flute again in silence. 

 

The night is slowly turning into day, and a few hours, the King of Sirena would wake for the second time that day, with a new determination to forget the nightmare he has but won’t admit to.

 

In the meantime, the two gentlemen sit together in front of the fire, deep in their own thoughts. 

 

“How long… has it been since they were separated?” Orion asks, “Erin and him.”

 

“The day of the Winter Festival will mark a full decade,” Shinkai answers, and Orion sucks in a breath. He mutters something before sipping his wine, and Shinkai thinks he hears a curse.

 

“I was thoughtless,” Orion says regretfully.

 

“You didn’t know any better,” Shinkai corrects - there is no comfort in his tone, but Orion feels slightly at ease all the same. “He doesn’t mention it too much, so you’re not to blame for not knowing.”

 

“I only knew because Erin mentioned it on passing,” says Orion, “And even then, it was a rare slip of a tongue and Erin never said anything about it since.” A shadow settles on the King’s face. :”Of how he and Sardinia are twins separated by the war.”

 

“Separated is a kind term, really,” Shinkai says, smiling with no real humor, “Your attendant was chased out by his own father. As a trade to end the war.”

 

There is another sharp intake of breath.

 

“What…?”

 

Shinkai pauses his polishing, dropping his gaze to the floor. “His Majesty may talk about his father a lot, but he holds no warm feelings about him. He allows his father to be a topic of conversation as a way to put up a sense of normalcy.” He turns to Orion. “Before his father died a few years ago, he admitted that they never shared a proper conversation with each other outside of formal matters.”

 

“But why was Erin given up?”

 

Shinkai is quiet for a moment.

 

“Erin was a sickly child and out of the two, he was born with little to no capabilities of magic,” Shinkai explains softly, “To the eyes of the Court and the Royal family, he is expandable. The enemy wanted one of the Princes to themselves - as a war hostage, if you will - and Erin was an easy choice.”

 

“But how could his own father give him up so easily?” Orion demands angrily, “He couldn’t have been nothing more than a helpless child, then! How --!”

 

He quiets down when he sees the dark look on Shinkai’s face.

 

“His Majesty once said his father was a kind person.” He sighs heavily, and resumes polishing his flute.

 

“War changes people,” he adds, before glancing at Orion, “I understand Erin was raised as an assassin before becoming your attendant?”

 

Orion nods.

 

“Be grateful he ended up in Lama. A fate much worse could have waited for him 10 years ago.”

 

.

,

,

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.

 

**_(1 day before Christmas)_ **

 

There is a long guest list in front of him, placed neatly on his study desk. Lucy insists in a small but firm voice that Sardinia is to check it today and no later than that, even when Sardinia simply wants to collapse on his bed and nurse his headache which refuses to go away.

 

He thanks his blessings when Shinkai offers to help; the boy is like a gift of the Gods to him at this point.

 

Shinkai snorts when Sardinia says just this. “You just like me because I entertain you.”

 

Sardinia allows this with a grin. “This King cannot deny such statement.” He looks at the list in front of him with an expression that barely escapes boredom, one long finger tracing the names on the parchment. He recognizes several; Kings of other Stars, nobles from distinguished families, old-time friends. He traces Orion’s name three times before his gaze lands on the empty space beside it.

 

With a raise of an eyebrow, he turns to Lucy, who is waiting beside him. She squeaks in surprise when she realizes his gaze on her, and barely keeps herself from stuttering as she faces him fully. 

 

“What is it, Your Majesty?” she asks.

 

“Is this blank space intentional, dear Lucy?” Sardinia asks back, “You’re usually so keen on details, so I dont think this is merely a careless act on your part, is it?”

 

“Ah that.” Lucy adjust her spectacles. “Well, it’s always been a custom to invite at least two representatives from each Star. If the ruler is attending, they are usually accompanied by their attendant, but King Orion has failed to provide feedback on who he is inviting for this year’s party.” She laces her fingers together, biting her bottom lip. “I’ve tried contacting him on this matter but it seems he’s been too busy with his own affairs to reply…”

 

“And?”

 

“If Your Majesty knows anyone King Orion is familiar with, perhaps you may suggest a name? It doesn’t matter if they couldn’t come; it’s just an act of courtesy on our part. A custom, as I’ve previously mentioned.”

 

There is a long sigh. Sardinia reaches for his pen as he moves to sign his name at the bottom of the list, as an act of finalization. Lucy barely manages to stop him, quickly blocking Sardinia’s hand. The King glances at her curiously.

 

“Lucy?”

 

“Y-Your Majesty!” Lucy stammers, “As I-I’ve mentioned, we should --,”

 

“I think it hardly matters,” Sardinia intercepts smoothly, “King Orion has his own party to organize, so I doubt he’d come. And besides,” He offers the girl a chilling smile. “I’m the King, am I not? Don’t I get to decide whether or not I should follow such a minor practice? There will be so many people attending tomorrow’s party. I doubt they would care over such a small detail.”

 

“But the guest list will be published for all to see!” Lucy protests feebly, “It won’t look good -,”

 

“Lucy,” Sardinia says, warning slipping into his otherwise languid tone, “Give it a rest, sweetheart.” 

 

He pushes her hand away gently and signs his name before his attendant could protest further. With a self-satisfied smile, he hands back the list to her, reaching out to pat her head. “Now, run along, Lucy. I’m sure you have many things left to do to prepare for tomorrow.”

 

Lucy looks as if she wants to argue a bit more, but with a sigh, she decides to give up. After a quick curtsey, she leaves the room, leaving Sardinia and Shinkai alone.

 

Seconds tick by in silence.

 

“Do you have anything to say, Shinkai?” Sardinia asks knowingly.

 

“Not really,” Shinkai says with a shrug, “I just think it would have been a good opportunity to invite the child, my King. It’s not often Sirena opens its Ports to other Stars, after all.”

 

Sardinia rises from the chair, turning to face his bed. Wordlessly, he takes off his crown and places it on the bedside, before taking off his outer robe, as if preparing himself to rest.

 

“It matters not if I did,” he answers quietly, “The child was chased out of his home. Here is the last place he would want to be, if our last meeting was any indication.” He turns to Shinkai. “Now, please leave me be. I wish to retire for the rest of the afternoon.”

 

Shinkai places one hand on his chest and bows slightly. “Understood, my King.”

 

.

,

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.

 

**_(Christmas day)_ **

 

The Winter Festival celebration starts off grand, as most celebrations in Sirena tend to be. Sardinia had been at the capital alongside other nobles and members of the Court, watching the fireworks signalling the start of the festival light up the night sky. He was among the first ones to hear the cheer of the people, and was the first one to eat all the cakes and open gifts prepared by the locals as an offering.

 

Shinkai performed a beautiful self-composed song for the occasion, and Sardinia’s heart felt light just listening to it. Even though he performed in front of everyone, Sardinia felt as if the song was meant only for him. For a brief moment, Sardinia forgot about his worries.

 

That was 2 hours ago.

 

Lazu finds him in the castle gardens where Sardinia stands alone, entertaining his thoughts. The former is dressed in his usual attire sans the mask, and Sardinia belatedly realizes that this is the first time he has seen his face up close. Lazu has a rugged but handsome appearance, he thinks, full of boyish charm despite his apparent aloofness.

 

“Lazu-san, is it?” Sardinia greets him. “I apologize for not being at the party. It must have been difficult for you to find me.”

 

Lazu shakes his head. “A mousy little girl showed me the way.”

 

Must be Lucy.

 

“I see. Is something the matter, Lazu-san?”

 

Lazu extends a hand. “King Carnelian sends his regards and apologies for not being able to attend. Also, he presents you with a gift.”

 

“He’s ill, isn’t he? It’s quite alright. And oh?” Sardinia accepts the small packaged object from Lazu. “What may this be?” He looks at the Carnelian attendant. “May I open it?”

 

“If Your Majesty wishes to.”

 

“I do.”

 

He gingerly unties the ribbon holding the wrapper together, before peeling the paper back. The first thing he sees is a shiny surface, smooth underneath his fingertips. Slowly, he begins to see what looks like a crystal figure in his hands.

 

Despite himself, he lets out a chuckle.

 

“Is King Carnelian presenting me with one of his treasured crystal rabbits?” he asks amusedly, holding the blue crystal rabbit into the light. “It’s very pretty. I can see why he adores collecting them so much.”

 

:Lazu shakes his head. “This one is specially made for you, Your Majesty. It was not previously part of his collection.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“It is made by one of the rare water crystals in Alba,” Lazu explains, “He says the magic of it couldn’t possibly compare to the ones in Sirena, but he hopes that its powers can be useful to you nevertheless. He thought of this gift with great care.”

 

Sardinia couldn’t help but to feel intrigued. “And what sort of magic does this cute little rabbit possess?”

 

“It can help soothe worries, Your Majesty.”  

 

Sardinia turns to Lazu, questioning.

 

Lazu shifts on his feet. “His Majesty apologizes in advance if he is being rude, but... “

 

“But?” Sardinia prompts.

 

“He said that he heard… rumors that you seemed… troubled as of late. He wishes to provide a small comfort in whatever way he could.”

 

Sardinia sighs, but manages a small smile. He rubs the head of the rabbit, his expression turning wistful. “Troubled, huh? Do I really seem that way to others?” He smiles at Lazu. “In any case, send my thanks to your King. For such a young one, he is incredibly thoughtful. I appreciate his gesture.” 

 

Lazu makes a quick bow. “I will let him know. Then… I shall return to the party.”

 

“Please, enjoy yourself tonight.”

 

Lazu’s lips turn upwards. “Perhaps, I might.” He begins to walk away before he stops in his tracks, turning briefly at Sardinia. “Your Majesty, it seems there is another person who wishes to talk to you.”

 

Before Sardinia could ask further, Lazu exits the garden. Sardinia tucks the crystal rabbit into the pocket of his robe, wondering what Lazu meant. Just as he is about to leave, he hears a rustle.

 

He stops in his tracks.

 

“Who’s there?” he calls out.

 

When no one answers, he lets out a heavy sigh.

 

“Look. Please greet me properly, whoever you are -,”

 

He turns around as he speaks, and when he sees the person in front of him, words instantly die in his throat.

 

The first thing he sees is a head full of brilliant red hair, followed by the familiar-looking blue crystal hanging from the lapel of a crisp black uniform. There is a small smile on the person’s face.

 

“Happy Winter Festival, Sardinia-nii.”

 

_ “Erin.”  _

 

* * *

 

Erin, he notices, is not dressed in his usual black uniform. The current attire he is wearing resembles that, but the gold trimmings are gone, and there is a fur lining in his collar as well as at the end of his sleeves. He also belatedly realizes the long coat draped over his shoulders - its color consisting of a gradient of different shades of blue and green. Like-

 

Like the colors of Sirena.

 

“King Orion gave this to me,” Erin says, as if reading his mind, “I recognize this design anywhere. It’s part of the royal garments of Sirena, isn’t it?” He smiles. “I would know, of course.”

 

“Erin,” Sardinia says again when he finally finds his voice, “Why…?”

 

“I’m here in place of King Orion,” Erin explains lightly, making a quick bow similar to how Lazu did it a moment ago, “He apologizes for his absence and sends his warmest regards. He also hopes that you would come visit Lama’s Christmas celebrations this week, if you are willing. In exchange, he will make an official visit to Sirena as soon as he can.”

 

Sardinia blinks, not knowing what to say.

 

“Christmas is so different in Lama, Sardinia-nii,” Erin continues, putting his hands at the back of his head, “It’s not as lively as the one in Sirena, but the people are so visibly relaxed and happy during this time of year it’s almost surprising. The atmosphere changes, too. It’s almost someone took a tin of paint and splashed it all over the Star of Steel, followed by another and another. It’s  _ beautiful. _ ” He pauses, his smile softening. “I’ve only able to properly celebrate it after becoming the King’s attendant, so I’m grateful.”

 

“Erin.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“You…” Sardinia struggles to find words. “I thought… I thought…” There is a lump in his throat. “I was so sure you never wanted to return here.”

 

Erin stares at him for a moment, before turning around with his back against Sardinia. He doesn’t answer.

 

“Why are you here? You could have refused… I…” Sardinia’s voice breaks. “Don’t you hate me, Erin?”

 

A beat of silence. In the distance, Sardinia hears the chatters of the party-goers, muted and blended into the background. 

 

“Truthfully, I do.”

 

Sardinia flinches. Erin turns his head slightly, barely facing him. There is no smile on his face. 

 

“But, I’ve also grown to be unable to ignore the loneliness I felt,” he continues, and Sardinia could hear the quiet admittance in his tone. Erin slowly puts his arms down, and his fingers curl into a loose fist at his sides, before they uncurl again. “Last time, I couldn’t see you even if I desperately wanted to. So, I settled for waiting for you. Hoping,  _ desperately _ wishing that you’d convince Father to take me back.”

 

“But you never came,” says Erin, a hint of resentment seeping into his voice. “ And I couldn’t bear the loneliness and sadness that I turned them into anger. Just so I could cope better.”

 

He spins on his heels, facing his brother. There is a ghost of a smile on his youthful face.

 

“I wanted to blame someone. So I chose you.”

 

Sardinia’s face crumbles, and he wraps his arms around himself as if to prevent his body from folding in on itself. Erin’s words hurt - they hurt  _ so much _ \- but they’re also true. True and very much justified. He  _ could _ have done something. 10 years ago, when his brother was taken away from him, he could have tried harder to stop it from happening.

 

But all he did was watch - because what else can a child do?

 

“You must have suffered so much,” Sardinia whispers, instead. “I…”

 

“Suffered?” Erin tilts his head thoughtfully. “Perhaps, I did. I remembered being scared and alone, so suffering isn’t a strange possibility.” He hums. “I was lucky, though. In a sense. I ended up being sold to the Laman authorities not long after. As a weapon for the old King. Not a life I wanted, but I was fed and cared for enough to survive, so I considered myself blessed.”

 

Erin beams. “And then, I met King Orion and - well, you know the rest of that story.”

 

“I’m glad…” Sardinia hesitates. “I’m glad the two of you met. At least… you’re okay, now. More than I could ever hope you to be.”

 

Erin regards Sardinia curiously.

 

“Hey, Sardinia-nii?”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Do you regret it? For not doing anything 10 years ago?”

 

Sardinia flinches, the steady ache in his heart flaring at the sudden question. He gasps, before collapsing to his knees, his robe pooled around him on the wet grass. He trembles as his vision blurs from the sudden onslaught of tears. Erin watches him impassively, not moving from his spot. 

 

He  _ does _ . He hurts and regrets and tries so hard to forget - 

 

“I do,” he chokes out. 

 

“Truthfully?” Erin asks lightly.

 

“Truthfully.” Sardinia feels a tear slide down his cheeks. “I’m sorry for leaving you all alone, Erin. I truly am.”

 

There is a quiet hum.

 

“Well, at least one of us is telling the truth.”

 

Sardinia’s gaze snaps up, surprised by the statement. He watches in wide-eyed confusion as Erin kneels down in front of him, before reaching out to wipe the stray tear from Sardinia’s left eye. There is a small smile on his face, and a waver in his gaze previously not there.

 

He laughs softly. “King Orion really knocked some sense into me. And Shinkai-san told me that if I don’t go now, I’ll never bring myself to. And truthfully, I …” 

 

He bites his bottom lip, and there is a strong emotion in his eyes. 

 

“I lied. About hating you. I was angry, and confused, but how could I ever hate you, Sardinia-nii?” Erin’s voice trembles. “I  _ miss  _ you. So much.”

 

A sense of relief and sadness and happiness and other torrent of emotion overwhelm Sardinia. With tears spilling from his eyes, he gasps once before pulling Erin into a tight embrace. He buries his face against Erin’s neck as he cries, Erin’s familiar warmth filling him with so much nostalgia that he couldn’t stop his tears from flowing. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he says over and over again, “I’m sorry, Erin. Big Brother is sorry.”

 

Erin returns Sardinia’s embrace, his own tears slipping down his cheeks. He smiles shakily and nods.

 

“Me too, Sardinia-nii. I’m sorry, too.”

 

* * *

 

“How long do you plan on sitting on the tree branch like that, Shinkai-san?” Coda asks, crossing his arms. “Aren’t you cold?”

 

“Ah. Leader of the Burst Roar,” greets Shinkai, looking at the young merchant from where he sits, “You’ve found me. Are you enjoying the party so far?”

 

Coda sighs. “Sirena’s festivities has yet to disappoint me. But as much as I’d love to stay longer, I have to make my leave. I’m actually here to say goodbye before I do. Have you seen your King, by the way? I’d like to speak to him as well before I go.”

 

Shinkai hums. “It’s best if you leave him be. He’s a bit preoccupied at the moment. I’ll tell him you left your regards.” When Coda doesn’t budge from his spot, Shinkai smiles, waving him off dismissively. “Run along, young cub. Your little ducklings are waiting for you,” he says, referring to the group of merchants standing by the archway leading into the garden. 

 

“I’m not a cub anymore, and they’re not my ducklings,” Coda replies with a huff. He makes a quick bow. “Well, I’ll be taking my leave.”

 

“Young Coda?” Shinkai calls out just as Coda turns. 

 

“Yes?”

 

“What do you think of this year’s Winter Festival?”

 

Coda pauses. “Different Stars have different ways of celebrating, don’t they? I’ve only seen mine and your Star’s festivities this year. I’d say they’re quite fine.”

 

Shinkai gazes into the distance where Sardinia and Erin are seen still tight in an embrace. Sardinia pulls away first, his eyes teary as he laughs, before Erin joins. The twins join hands and press their foreheads together as they continue to smile and laugh, no doubt enjoying each other’s presence.

 

The bard of Sirena smiles, before lifting up his hands to press his flute against his lips.

 

“Quite fine, indeed,” he agrees, before he begins to play a tune. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated~ You can come yell at me at @tennssi0907 on Twitter, too!


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